Families waiting to be matched with children are fully screened, loving, prepared and eager to adopt. Some have specific preferences, such as they would like to adopt a girl rather than a boy. Some have children already, through adoption or biologically, and some are childless or infertile. Some are married couples and others are unmarried.
We do not rule out families because the matching decision belongs to the birthmother and father. We do not discriminate against prospective adoptive families on the basis of race, sex, marital status, religion, age, sexual orientation, veteran status or disability, in so far as the disability does not incapacitate a person from parenting.
ABC Infant Adoption defines “pro-choice” as helping a birthmother consider her options and make her own decision, without judgment or pressure. It is your choice. Obviously, we help birthparents make adoption plans and believe that adoption can be a good and fulfilling arrangement for birthparents, adoptive families and, most importantly, babies. But there is no pressure for birthparents to choose adoption.
We have found that both married couples and single persons are excellent adoptive parents. What is most important is twofold. First, that the birthmother knows that her baby will be loved and cherished. Second, that the adoptive family, whatever their race or religion, will respect the adoption plan and provide security and opportunities for their child to grow up feeling accepted and belonging to a large community of friends and family. It is very important for children to have many positive, caring role models so that they can grow up confident and be successful at school and later, as adults. We find that adoption becomes a theme or value in many families, and that they have family members who have adopted or been adopted through several generations. This is what we would view as success — a whole world that accepts adoption and knows that every child deserves love and support.
Families who adopt cross-racially or cross-ethnically have extra challenges and must be committed to ensuring that the child will have opportunity for healthy role identification. So, too, it is important that single mothers have close family members or friends who can serve as father figures or and that single fathers have close family members or friends who can serve as mother figures.
After considering a few adoptive families, birthmothers are sometimes surprised by their own decision. We try our best to present the closest match. However, it is not unusual for a birthmother who requests a family without children to end up preferring a family with children; or, for a birthmother who prefers a married couple to choose a single mother with a stay-at-home grandmother.
There is “chemistry” in selecting an adoptive family, things no one can predict. And, if making a decision is troubling, we can help you, the birthparent, sort through your preferences, inform you of our recommendation and why, and match your child. It is your option to remain anonymous, if that is your preference, as a birthmother.
Many questions may come to mind. Our counselors can answer questions, sort through options, let you know about resources for you during and after your pregnancy, explain the Arizona adoption regulations and provide information and support. Please give us a call for more information. We are happy to provide counseling and help for your unplanned pregnancy.
When you choose adoption, we can provide several profiles of waiting families. Our waiting families are approved for adoption and are from various places in the US. About a third of our waiting families are from Arizona, which may appeal to birthmothers who like the idea of the baby being fairly close after the adoption is completed. Other birthmothers choose families from Colorado, Washington, New Mexico, Massachusetts, North Carolina and other states. It is totally up to you. There are many things to consider. Let us help.